.015 [the lost post]

ugh. forever ago, when i was sick [death-bed-ish] i attempted to post a blog, but it didn't work.

then my computer was sent to rehab [drinking/drink spilling problem]

so maybe i'll try again....




as everyone knows, my favorite book that i read this semester is Italo Calvino's novel, Invisible Cities
i love this book for three reasons:
1. it focuses more on the cities, than the people, leaving ample room for interpretation [hence, my hybrid narrative?]
2. the structure was different
3. i never thought there could be a better name than marco polo, but i think kublai khan has him beat

so, as much as i am sure you would love to read about me loving this book some more...
here are three reasons why i will stop talking about it:
1. i have analyzed this book to death
[short essays, anyone?]
2. i have analyzed this book to death
[hybrid collage?]
3. i have analyzed this book to death
[hypertext/narrative?]
.....



This semester I have learned much more than I ever could have thought possible. I knew that starting college would be different for me, especially a college that is almost six hours from where I live, but I had no idea what kind of different it would be. I was not sure how I would be able to handle the new experience [would my classes be worse than high school? would I make any friends? would I still think I chose the right college? what about my classes?]
Prior to this semester, I had never been away from home more than a week on my own, so I was worried that I would be homesick or just completely lost. I quickly found out that I was not homesick at all [a surprise that I loved] and that my classes were even more challenging than high school [a fact that I did not love].


One of the classes that proved to be one of the most stimulating [not necessarily the most challenging, but one of the ones that really made me think] was this L&T class. I knew that everyone came from different hometowns and different backgrounds, but I never could have imagined the diversity that was brought to the table by the small group that made up our class. It wasn't just the diversity of opinions that surprised me, but everyone's willingness to accept or at least consider others' perspectives.

You see, I am used to having two or three main voices in the classroom [including the professor] and then having fifteen or sixteen parrots chirping the same opinions back and forth, mixing up the words every so often [just to give the illusion that there is another idea in the discussion]. I was so used to hearing, "yeah I completely agree with [name], I really do think that [lame idea that is tired from being discussed to death], and it really did surprise me!" that I was completely shocked when I heard someone say, "yes, I see where you are coming from, but I interpreted [topic in novel] to mean [completely different, but compelling idea]. It was a good kind of shocked, and I am so grateful for all the contrary opinions [cough, Andrea, cough] that were said because they got the discussion moving. Honestly, if no one says anything that rocks the boat, there is not a good chance of me saying too much at eleven in the morning. That's not to say that I don't read the books, or that I don't have any opinions, but only that I can only be described as simply "struggle" in the mornings.
[yes struggle, not "struggling"]
Different opinions were the starting point for most of my in-class revelations, from which learning came. So as I am looking back on the class [and blogging, which I am getting used to now...] I have realized that apart from my professors, my classmates have been the best teachers that I could ever have. I have learned so much on so many levels, by even the smallest of comments. So I know this is like a complete 'sitcom-style' revelation, but I just want to say thanks to my L&T Profs and peers for a. keeping me awake on the weekdays, just as my caffeine wears off, and b. teaching me things that I never knew I could learn from books.



Have a great Spring semester :]












ps. my birthday is saturday

.015 [one.two.three.]

[can i just mention that i am currently listening to bad romance on repeat, so in the back of my mind is bah-rah-rah-ah-ah-ro-ma-ro-ma-ma-gaga-ooh-lala. i sincerely apologize if any of that babble spills over onto this bloggin' reflection.]
that said, go listen to it and get it stuck in your head too.




now on to business.
you asked:

1. At the beginning of the course, you mentioned two or three aspects of your writing that you most wanted to work on. How well have you met your goal of improving in those areas?
2. At this point, what would you say are your strengths as a writer?
3. What do you need to improve in your writing in the future?

my answers:
1. [In the beginning...]
I said this.
so, to answer in order,
ONE: i still hate using capital letters and it is STILL so difficult to force myself to press that little shift button with either of my pinkies. however, i have managed to make all [most?] of my papers case-appropriate, and for that i am grateful.
TWO: I definitely think that I am able to make connections between everything I read and see now, all in thanks to this tandem class.
THREE: I don't think I split that many infinitives anymore, but perhaps I just blocked that out of my mind. In fact, I think that my grammar has improved overall [or else my Professors have given up on my papers].
FOUR: conclusions. ugh. uhm. well.
I still feel that I have quite a bit of room to grow in this department, although they are getting better.


2. [Right about now...]
At this point, I honestly have no idea what my strengths as a writer are. I have received back-and-forth feedback on all aspects of my writing, so although I am comfortable with my writing style, that might not be considered a "strong point" in someone else's eyes. I still think that I have a pretty strong style as a writer[readers can tell its my writing], even if it is not always appropriate for the prompt.

3. [Oh, improvements...]
In my opinion, nothing is perfect, so everything can always be improved upon [in general]. For my writing, I need to work on making my points extremely concise, without all the sugar-coating and fluff that surrounds them. I usually miss the boat on this one because I either write with too little opinion and detail, or I write everything dripping with detail [that has nothing to do with my point]. I know that writing with too much wishy-washy-ness is bad, but I still do it. Its like an addiction maybe?
I hate arguing. I hate arguments. I hate everything to do with the word "argue" so in my papers, when I slip up and use a conversational tone in an analytic paper, I do not use very direct statements. So, it's not that I do not have an opinion, but rather, I am not fully accustomed to fighting for the opinions that I have. I feel like I have gotten a little bit better in this area, but it could still use a lot of work. I go from one topic and idea to another, in opposition, without stating which one I am for, or which I feel has no merit. I also tend to write as I think, which sounds like something a writer should do, right? Wrong. Writing everything just as I think it does not always benefit the paper because when I think, I CHANGE MY MIND.
[you're shocked, right?]
While changing my mind in my own thoughts might be alright, in a paper, it simply confuses the reader because I am supposed to be ARGUING my idea.
Idea.
Singular, not plural, and certainly not ideas in opposition.








4. yes, this is my fourth answer, even though there are only three real questions.
[don't read this if you do not want to hear blah blah-i don't like blogging-blahhh-rah-rah-rah-ah-ah...]
In class today we had a little "reflection time" where we talked about what we liked/disliked/loved/whatever else. I honestly had NOTHING to say. Not one thing. I do not HATE blogging [the idea/act of blogging] but I did not really enjoy writing about things that I don't think anyone would care about. I also feel like since this is online, I constantly have to edit/edit/edit what I say because everyone can see it. Someone once told me that a writer's work actually tells the reader more about the writer than about the actual topic of discussion, and too often I feel that all of my ideas and thoughts are spilling out from in between the lines of my writing. This goes along with my voice as a writer, I guess. People can tell it is me writing. This sounds like too much complaining, I am aware, but I guess that although I have a writing style, I am not fully comfortable in my writing shoes as of yet. My friends have read this blog and have told me that they can tell it is me writing it. That lack of ambiguity kind of bothers me sometimes, so it is difficult for me to write blogs on my "opinions and thoughts", while editing what I think, and trying to keep it interesting for a potential reader.
just sayin.

.014 [hello, hybrid]

first of all, let me tell you i actually love this hybrid project...
by far, it is my favorite writing assignment
[even if my grade reflects otherwise, i will still not regret the countless late evenings/ all nighters devoted to this paper....
actually, if i were to add in the hours of note-taking and reading from the novel i chose to manipulate, Invisible Cities, by Italo Calvino, i would say that i have hundreds of hours invested in this project...
wow.
i have read and reread and reread this novel [about 6 times]
i have scanned every page for parallel syntax, frequently used words, similarities between cities, any small mentioning of a character other than Khan or Polo (i.e. man, traveler, visitor, stranger, etc.), details of color, rhetorical questions, phrases that relate to philosophy, possible metaphors, actual metaphors, content i found humorous, content i found to be bland, and i even wrote down all of the profound statements that i thought were interesting philosophical quotes....
you name it, i've done it.
my book is completely vandalized....
but it is a good sort of graffitti, intelligent, i would like to think
but graffitti nonetheless...
which reminds me of my other graffitti project, the one that actually IS a project.
my vinyl graffitti project for 2D design was also one of my favorites of the semester...
i got to play around on the computer, design something that i thought looked cool....


AND HERE IS THE BEST PART:


i got to put it on whatever surface i wanted, wherever i wanted in moreau.
so i took a little bit of my life story, mixed it in with some song lyrics [i'm sick of your name in lights] and posted it up on the dressing room mirrors in the basement of moreau.
:]
i cannot wait to see the actor's reactions....
oh, graffitti







[update: 12.09.09]
so as much fun as the graffiti was to create...
it was about that much fun taking down.
[not.]
i had to take it down two days later.
it took three and a half hours.
and it wasn't even legit graffiti, like spray paint.
good idea.
but no longer fun in my mind.

.013 [oh, the power of it all]

Omishto was obviously named appropriately, because she is just as her name says "one who watches." However, this begs the question, does a name or title define a person, or does the person define a name? I mean, if Omishto's father had not named her such, would she still be as perceptive as she is? Or would she have neglected the part of herself that was more of an outside observer, and focoused more on the parts of herself that were more drawn to community and a longing for acceptance? Would this have changed her admiration for Ama, and made Omishto look up to her mother more?

[My name, for example, means "universal". It is german, and comes from Emmanuel, which is a name used in the bible for Jesus. If you wanted to take it one step further, you might look at my middle name, which is noel, and discover that Emma Noel looks mighty similar to Emmanuel.]

[This was a very clever wording technique, courtesy of my parents.]

I watched Across the Universe a couple of hours ago, and I found myself listening especially closely to the Thanksgiving dinner scene, where Max and his uncle are arguing about what truly matters in a man's life. Max says something like, "why is it always what are you going to do? what will you do? what will he do? why doesn't anyone ever ask who I am?" and Jude says something like, "surely it's not what you do, but how you do it?"

[Good call, Jude.]

Although this statement was made to simply diffuse a family quarrel, it really got me thinking about what exactly a name means to a person, and what exactly a person's impact on the world is going to be, with respect to what they do...

In Omishto's case, it is certainly how she does what she does, rather than just what she does. This goes along with the difference between the different court systems mentioned in the novel; the American court system seems to only care about what a person does, while the tribal court system gives more weight to the "how you do it" part.

Honestly, I think that both outlooks are completely necessary when glancing at the easy [this word is quite literally so soggy with sarcasm that it may, in fact, be dripping mess] question of the meaning of/one's purpose in life.

So what do you think?

Is what you do really who you are?

or did Jude have it right?

Should we consider, not what we do, but how we go about doing it?

.012 [my name's not baby...]

So today I was thinking about what I could possibly write for the in-class essay about names in Jamaica Kincaid's Lucy, and I was coming up with the most random connections possible. Most of them were complete BS, and there was no way I could turn them into an essay. In fact, I still have no idea what I will write about, although I have been tearing through the book for a few hours now...

As I was thinking about names in general, a friend of a friend who is in a band randomlyadded and messaged me on Facebook saying,

"So I hear I am not supposed to call you Emily?"

[nice one-liner, band guy]

I of course said "Yes," and when he asked why I said, "I don't know really...it's just not my name. Everyone always assumes that Emma is just short for Emily, like its the lesser version of the two, when in reality my name is better so......."

He agreed, so I think we can be friends ;]

Silly as it may seem, that simple question really got me thinking about why my name is so important to me. I mean, it's only four letters, it's pretty simple, and nowadays [thanks toFRIENDS and the Harry Potter movies] it is pretty common. I think, though, that a name is much more than just a few letters put together, or a way of identifying a person. I think, just like Hannah mentioned in her blog, that a name directly represents the person to whom it is given. If a person with one name is really annoying, then that name will forever have a negative connotation in my mind because I am reminded of the annoyance every time I hear it. It is guilty by association, I suppose. For instance, when I was little, I was bullied by a girl named Deleny; thus, every time I hear that name, I feel myself cringe. And although I have never met an Emily I don't like, I still have an aversion to the name because it is simply too much alike to mine. I wonder if this happens to other people? Like do girls named Beth hate it if people think their "real" name is Elizabeth? I have no idea, and it probably does not matter...

I like my name, and that's all there is to it. Just don't call me Emily.

.011 [sleepy hollow]

Last night as i perused the channels, attempting to find a movie that would satisfy both of my needs to a.) keep me awake, and b.) entertain me just enough that I could kind of procrastinate without being completely there, I decided to watch Sleepy Hollow. No, this movie could not be found on tv, as most things cannot, so I decided to watch it on my laptop...at three in the morning. As I watched the macabre and quirky romance between Christina Ricci and Johnny Depp, I realized that Lives and Times must really be getting to me. I realized that by the time Depp's character is performing autopsies on the headless bodies in the Hollow that I was analyzing his character in the context of one who is displaced. Thank you Lucy, for forever ruining what could be a simply entertaining Tim Burton film. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh

HOWEVER

I suppose making connections like this cannot be all bad right? I mean, now I can have a fuller and deeper understanding as to why Depp's character falls so fast for Ricci's character [because she is the first person he meets] and why he is so committed to disbelief of the "headless horseman" tale [because it is not from his direct culture].

Maybe next time I watch one of my favorite movies I can also attempt to apply some of the themes we talk about in Lives and Times into the plot.....

OR maybe I can just forget about all of that and watch my late night [early morning] movies in peace.

.010 [ohhhh-thel-o]

In high school, after we read Othello, I thought I had absorbed all that I possibly could from the drama. Symbolism, prose v.s. regular dialogue, symbolism character analysis, and did I mention symbolism?

....honestly I thought I knew it all backwards and forwards....

HOWEVER

After discussing the drama with a whole new group of intelligent individuals, and watching a movie inspired by the Shakespeare classic, I am beginning to think that Othello can offer more each time it is read. Its interpretation only depends on the group to which it is passed off to. Needless to say, I am so interested in what Rose has to say about the movie "O" and its reference to Oden, the Norse God....